For parents who’ve just found out
Your child is pulling out their hair. What you do next matters.
Most loving parents react in ways that make it worse, without realising it. This guide gives you the exact words to say, the five things to stop doing, and how to find help that works.
Instant download · 30-day money-back guarantee
“For the first time I knew what to actually do.”Sarah M, mum of a 10-year-old
- 20 short chapters
- 5 printable worksheets
- Word-for-word scripts
- 30-day money-back guarantee
What loving parents do first usually makes it worse
You found the bald patch, or the pile of hairs on the pillow, or the missing eyelashes. And you did what any parent would do. You watched more closely. You gently moved their hand away. Maybe you offered a reward for stopping, or promised that nobody else would ever find out.
Every one of those comes from love. And every one of them tends to backfire, because hair pulling runs on shame.
The more watched and worried your child feels, the stronger the urge gets. So the pulling doesn’t stop. It goes into hiding: the bedroom, the bathroom, 2am. And once your child hides it from you, you lose the two things you need most: knowing what’s really going on, and their trust.
The good news: this works in reverse too.
When the shame goes down, things get easier for your child and for you. The guide starts with the five things never to do, and what to do instead. Don’t worry if you’re already doing some of them. Almost every parent starts there, because it’s what instinct tells you to do.
Take a breath.
This is more common than you think.
About 1 or 2 in every 100 people pull their hair. Other families at your child's school are almost certainly dealing with it too, and each one thinks they're the only one.
You didn't cause it. It happens in loving, stable homes all the time.
Your child isn't doing it on purpose. Telling them to stop doesn't work, because willpower isn't the problem.
People with trichotillomania grow up to have careers, friendships and families of their own. Plenty of teachers, doctors and parents have it right now.
Knowing this helps tonight. It won’t tell you what to say at breakfast tomorrow, which therapist to call, or what to tell the school if their hair loss is visible.That’s what the guide is for.
What changes when you have a plan
With the guide, you’ll know:
Exactly what to say in the first conversation, word for word. Scripts for all three situations: your child told you, your child doesn't know you know, or you've both avoided the subject for months.
The five reactions to stop today, and what to do instead. Almost every parent is already doing some of them.
Whether your child's pulling is automatic or focused. This one difference decides which strategies help and which fail.
How to find a therapist who has worked with hair pulling before. Most haven't. Ten questions for the first call will tell you in minutes.
What to tell the school, siblings, grandparents and the hairdresser. With a script for each.
How to tell if things are getting better, without counting hairs. Three simple check-ins that measure what matters.
When to worry more. Including the one medical emergency every parent should know about.
Why families who go it alone often lose months
Most parents start by searching online. They find plenty of information, but no clear plan for what to do next.
Then they book a kind, qualified therapist who has never worked with trichotillomania. Months go by and hundreds of pounds are spent before anyone realises it isn’t working. Meanwhile, the pulling settles into a habit, and it becomes the thing nobody in the house talks about.
The free articles on this site
Help you understand trichotillomania: what it is, why it happens, what the research says.
The guide
A step-by-step plan for your family, in the order you’ll need it, with the exact words to use.
Less than one therapy session. Yours in two minutes.
A Parent’s Guide to Trichotillomania
£47
One-time payment
- 20 short chapters, about ten minutes each
- 5 printable worksheets
- Word-for-word scripts for every hard conversation
- Instant download, read on any device
Secure checkout · Instant download · Read on any device
30-day money-back guarantee. Read it, use the scripts, try the worksheets. If it doesn’t help your family, reply to your receipt email within 30 days and we’ll refund every penny. No forms, no questions.
What’s in the guide
Twenty chapters in four parts. Each takes about ten minutes and makes sense on its own, so you can read in short bursts. The chapters are in the order you’ll need them, so the guide starts helping before you’ve finished it.
Part One
Get yourself steady first
How you react matters more than anything else, so the guide starts with you. What you’re feeling is normal, including the anger you feel guilty about. The five things never to do. And word-for-word scripts for the first conversation.
Part Two
Understand your child's pulling
How to spot your child’s pattern without them feeling watched. The difference between automatic and focused pulling. What pulling feels like from the inside, in the words of people who do it. And what trich looks like at every age, from toddlers to teens.
Part Three
Get the right help in place
Where to look for a therapist who knows hair pulling, the ten questions to ask, and what to do in the meantime if one is too far away or too expensive right now. Plus simple changes around the house, and scripts for school, siblings, grandparents and hairdressers.
Part Four
The long game
Why “no pulling” is the wrong goal, and the six signs of progress that matter more. What to do when you and your partner disagree. When to worry more. And two letters: one to adapt and give your child, and one for you.
Plus five printable worksheets
The Pattern Log — arrive at your first therapy appointment with the groundwork done
Ten Questions for a Possible Therapist — with notes on what a good answer sounds like
The One-Page Teacher Explainer — adapt it, print it, hand it over
Conversation Scripts, Quick Reference — including how to repair things after a conversation goes wrong
The Three Check-Ins — a simple way to see if things are improving, without counting hairs
From parents who started where you are now
“I found the bald patch on a Tuesday and spent two nights googling and crying. I read the first few chapters that weekend and for the first time I knew what to actually do, and what to stop doing. I was already doing three of the five ‘never do’ things.”
Sarah M., mum of a 10-year-old
“The chapter written from inside the child's head changed everything for me. I finally understood my daughter wasn't being defiant. She genuinely didn't know she was doing it. Our relationship improved before her hair did.”
James T., dad of a 12-year-old
“The ten therapist questions alone were worth the price. We'd already wasted four months with a lovely therapist who had never treated trich. The second one, found using this guide, actually knew what she was doing.”
Priya K., mum of a 14-year-old
“My husband thought I was overreacting; I thought he was in denial. The guide described us both so accurately we laughed out loud, and then we actually followed its advice.”
Emma & David R.
“Six months on, my son pulls less, but that's not even the biggest thing. The biggest thing is that he told me about a bad week without me asking. This guide taught me why that matters more than anything.”
Michelle O., mum of an 8-year-old
Why I made this guide
Hi, I’m Leanne, the founder of Trichotillomania.com. I started pulling my hair when I was 6, and it never went away. Thirty-five years later, I have no eyelashes or eyebrows.
For most of my life I hid it. In my mid twenties I finally told two therapists. Neither had heard of trichotillomania, and I could see it on their faces. After that, I didn’t ask anyone for help again.
The missing hair has never been the hardest part. The hardest part is the shame, and the fear of people finding out. That’s what follows a child into adulthood if nobody helps them with it.
I made this guide so more children with trichotillomania have a parent who knows what to say, what not to do, and how to find a therapist who understands. It’s built on published research and the approaches specialists use, and written in plain English for tired parents, not clinicians.
It isn’t a replacement for therapy. It prepares your family for it, and keeps you on track until you find the right person.
Leanne
What this guide won’t promise you
Hair pulling doesn’t switch off, and nobody can tell you exactly how long it will take to ease. So this guide doesn’t promise the pulling will stop. Here’s what it will do:
After Part One
You'll be ready to have the first conversation well, or to decide, for good reasons, to wait.
After Part Two
You'll understand what sets off your child's pulling, and what doesn't.
After Part Three
You'll have found and checked out professional help, or have a solid plan for the meantime.
After Part Four
Your child won't be facing this alone, your family will be able to talk about it, and you'll know how to measure progress in a way that helps.
The pulling may ease off. It often does once the shame is out of the picture. But the bigger goal is a child who knows they’re loved no matter what, has tools they chose themselves, and can have a bad week without spiralling.
Questions parents ask before buying
Can't I just read the free articles on this site?
The articles explain what trichotillomania is. The guide tells you what to do about it, step by step: what to say, in what order, to whom. It's the plan, not the background reading.
Shouldn't I just get my child a therapist?
Yes, and the guide will help you find the right one faster. Most therapists have never worked with trichotillomania. The ten questions help you spot one who has in a single phone call. The guide also covers the time a therapist can't: the rest of the week, when your child is at home with you.
How soon can I use it?
Straight away. It downloads instantly, and Part One gives you what you need for the first few days. You don't have to finish it for it to help.
My child is 4. / My child is 16. Is it still relevant?
Yes. One chapter covers every age: toddlers (where pulling often fades on its own), the 9 to 14 range where most cases start, and teenagers, where pushing tends to backfire.
What format is it?
It's a digital download you can read on any device. The worksheets are printable.
What if it doesn't help us?
Then it's free. Reply to your receipt email within 30 days and we'll refund you in full. No forms, no questions.
Less than one therapy session. Yours in two minutes.
A Parent’s Guide to Trichotillomania
£47
One-time payment
- 20 short chapters, about ten minutes each
- 5 printable worksheets
- Word-for-word scripts for every hard conversation
- Instant download, read on any device
Secure checkout · Instant download · Read on any device
30-day money-back guarantee. Read it, use the scripts, try the worksheets. If it doesn’t help your family, reply to your receipt email within 30 days and we’ll refund every penny. No forms, no questions.
One last thing.
You probably had a picture of how your child’s childhood would go, and this wasn’t in it. Feeling sad about that is normal, and it fades. But here’s what families who’ve been through this will tell you:
In twenty years, your child won’t remember the hair. They’ll remember how you made them feel about themselves while it was happening.
That part is in your hands. And you can start tonight.
£47 one-time · 30-day money-back guarantee
This guide is educational. It is not medical or psychological advice and is not a substitute for professional care.