How to Stop Pulling Your Hair: Practical Strategies That Help

If you’ve tried to stop pulling your hair and found yourself doing it again, you’re not weak and you’re not alone. Trichotillomania (trich) affects about 1 in 50 people. The urge to pull is real, it often happens without you noticing, and telling yourself to “just stop” rarely works for long.

What does work is a set of practical skills: spotting when you pull, making pulling harder, giving your hands something better to do, and riding out urges. This guide puts those skills in the order you’ll need them, starting with what to do the next time an urge hits. You don’t need to try everything. Pick two or three ideas that fit your pulling, and build from there.

What can I do right now when I feel the urge to pull?

When an urge hits, give your hands a job and wait it out. Urges usually rise, peak and fade if you don’t act on them. Your goal isn’t to never feel an urge. It’s to get through this one without pulling.

Try this two-minute plan:

Notice and name it. Say to yourself, “This is an urge.” Naming it puts a small gap between the feeling and your hand.
Move your hands away from your hair. Press your palms flat on your thighs, or clench your fists gently and hold them by your sides. This is called a competing response: something you can’t do while pulling.
Hold it for about a minute, or until the urge eases. Breathe out slowly while you wait.
Give your hands something to do next. Pick up a fidget, a stress ball, or your phone to text someone.
Change something small. Stand up, move to another room, switch on a brighter light, or get a drink of water.

Urges rise, peak and fade. If you can ride one out for a few minutes, it usually passes.

This is sometimes called urge surfing. You notice the urge, you let it be there, and you don’t act on it. Each time you ride one out, the next tends to feel a little easier to manage. The skill comes from acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), a talking therapy that teaches you to make room for uncomfortable feelings and urges without acting on them. Therapists often combine it with Habit Reversal Training, and research suggests the combination can help.

If you do pull, stop as soon as you notice, put the hair down, and carry on with step 2. Catching it after one hair is progress.

Why can’t I just stop?

Because hair pulling isn’t a willpower problem. Trichotillomania is a recognised condition. It’s a body-focused repetitive behaviour (BFRB), one of a group of conditions where people repeatedly pull, pick or bite at their own hair, skin or nails. Doctors class it in the same family as OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder). Pulling often brings relief or satisfaction, and your brain learns to go back to it, especially when you’re stressed, bored or tired.

Much of it also happens on autopilot. Researchers describe two styles of pulling:

Automatic pulling happens without you noticing, often while reading, watching TV, scrolling, driving or lying in bed. You may only realise when you see hair in your lap.
Focused pulling is more intentional. You feel a building urge or tension, and pulling eases it. It often happens in front of a mirror.

Most people do both. It matters because each style responds to different tools. Automatic pulling responds well to noticing and barriers. Focused pulling usually also needs ways to handle urges and feelings. There’s more on this in our guide to focused and automatic pulling.

How do I spot my triggers?

Track your pulling for one to two weeks. Each time you pull, or catch yourself about to, write down a few quick details. Patterns show up faster than you’d expect, and they tell you exactly where to aim your effort.

Note:

Where you were (bed, sofa, car, desk, bathroom)
What you were doing (reading, scrolling, studying, getting ready)
How you felt (bored, stressed, tired, anxious, calm)
What set it off (a hair that felt coarse or out of place, seeing yourself in a mirror, a tricky task)
Which hand and where you pulled from
Roughly how many hairs, or how many minutes

A notes app, a paper notebook or a small clicker counter all work.

Bed, mirror, sofa, desk: for most people, pulling clusters in a few places. Tracking shows you which ones are yours.

Tracking isn’t about judging yourself. It’s data. In a large study of an online self-help programme, people who logged their pulling more often tended to improve more. Just noticing more often makes automatic pulling harder to slip into.

Most triggers fall into a few groups:

Trigger type	What it looks like	Where to start
Places and times	Bed, bathroom mirror, car, desk, evenings	Barriers and changes to that place
Activities	Screens, reading, studying, phone calls	Busy hands: fidgets, something to hold
Feelings	Stress, boredom, anxiety, low mood, tiredness	Urge surfing, calming skills, support
Sensations	A hair that feels wiry, itchy scalp, uneven brows	Swaps that give a similar feeling
Thoughts	“Just one more”, “I’ve ruined it anyway”	Noticing the thought, not obeying it

Which barriers work?

Barriers work by breaking the automatic chain. When something is in the way, you notice what your hand is doing, and that moment of noticing gives you a choice. Use them in your riskiest places and times, not all day.

Things people find helpful:

Plasters on your pulling fingertips or thin cotton gloves while you watch TV, read or work
A soft beanie, bandana or headscarf at home, and a sleep cap at night if you pull in bed
Shorter hair, which is harder to grip (the UK’s NHS suggests it), or hair tied back during risky times
False nails or nail wraps, which make it harder to grip single hairs
Keeping tweezers out of reach, or out of the house, if they’re part of your pulling
Covering or dimming a mirror you tend to pull at, or using a softer light in the bathroom
Moving the phone out of the bedroom if you pull while scrolling in bed

Barriers slow your hands down. Something to squeeze or fiddle with gives them a job.

Also change the place itself. Look at your top three pulling spots from your tracking and redesign each one: sit in a different chair, add a brighter light, keep a fidget within reach, set a “hands busy” rule for TV time. If bedtime is your hardest time, our guide to pulling at night goes into more detail.

Wearable devices that buzz when your hand moves towards your head help some people notice automatic pulling. Research on them is still early. We cover what’s available in our guide to apps and wearables.

What can I do with my hands instead?

Give your hands something that feels close to what pulling gives you. Pulling isn’t random. People often search for a hair that feels a certain way, roll it between their fingers, or like the small tug as it comes out. When a swap matches that feeling, it’s much more likely to stick.

What pulling gives you	Things to try instead
Texture: finding a coarse or wiry hair	Textured fidgets, Velcro strips, a worry stone (a smooth stone to rub), a bumpy stress ball
The tug or release	Pulling seeds from a dried sunflower head, a stretchy fidget, a fidget with pull tabs
Rolling or stroking	A strand of embroidery thread or a paintbrush to roll, a smooth pebble, a soft fabric square
Something for the mouth	Sugar-free gum, crunchy snacks, a straw to hold
Scalp feeling	Firm brushing, a scalp massager, a cooling scalp lotion
Something for busy hands	Knitting, drawing, a puzzle, a game on your phone

Keep your swaps where you pull: one by the bed, one on the sofa, one in the car, one on your desk. Our guide to fidget toys and tools goes through the options in detail. If you’ve ever wondered why certain hairs feel so satisfying, why pulling hair feels good explains the rituals many people share.

Some people also practise a short technique called decoupling. You practise the hand movement towards your hair, then at the last moment redirect your hand somewhere else, for example down to your side or to touch your ear. Practising the redirected movement several times a day, when you don’t have an urge, can help the swap happen more readily when you do. Two studies found that decoupling reduced people’s pulling. In the larger one, it helped about as much as relaxation training (tensing and relaxing groups of muscles in turn), though people preferred decoupling.

How do I handle the feelings behind my pulling?

Look after the feeling as well as the hands. For many people, pulling is a way to get relief from stress, boredom, frustration or feeling low. If the feeling stays, the urge keeps coming back.

Things that help:

Name the feeling, not just the urge. “I’m stressed about tomorrow” points to what you actually need.
Have a short list of other ways to calm down: a walk, a shower, slow breathing, music, calling a friend.
Be kind to yourself after a slip. Shame, frustration and self-criticism are some of the strongest triggers for more pulling. A kind, matter-of-fact reset breaks that loop.
Look after the basics. Tiredness, long idle evenings and too much screen time all make pulling more likely. Exercise and regular sleep help many people.
Watch for all-or-nothing thoughts like “I’ve already pulled, so the day is ruined.” One pull is one pull. Stop there and carry on.

These skills are at the heart of acceptance and commitment therapy and of the ComB model, an approach that looks at everything that drives your pulling (physical sensations, thoughts, feelings, movements and places) and matches a strategy to each. A therapist may combine either with Habit Reversal Training. You can read about them in our guides to Habit Reversal Training and the ComB model.

What should I avoid?

Avoid anything that shames or hurts you. Plenty of tip lists online include ideas that make pulling worse, or that cause harm of their own.

Anything designed to sting, hurt or damage your skin. Pain doesn’t teach your brain a better habit, and it can become a problem of its own.
Punishing yourself or setting harsh rules. It adds shame, and shame feeds pulling.
Checking and inspecting your hair or brows in the mirror to see “how bad it is”. Inspecting often turns into pulling.
Asking others to police you. Being told “you’re doing it again” usually makes things worse. If you want support, agree a gentle, private signal with someone you trust, or ask them simply to hand you a fidget.
Counting only perfect days. Measure progress in fewer hairs pulled and more pull-free hours, not an unbroken streak.
Trying everything at once. A 2024 study suggested that short, clearly shown techniques help more than a large amount of information to work through alone. Pick a few things and practise them.

Does self-help work?

Self-help means working on your pulling yourself, without a therapist. You use the same kinds of steps a therapist would teach, like tracking, barriers, swaps and urge surfing, and you follow them from a book, a website or an app, or from guides like this one.

Self-help works for some people, and it’s a good place to start. It works best when it’s structured, when you track your pulling, and when you practise a few techniques consistently.

Here’s what the research shows:

Online self-help: in a 2025 study of StopPulling.com, a website that guides you through tracking your pulling and choosing strategies, more than 2,000 people took part. Those who finished it reduced their pulling on average, and about 4 in 10 of them cut their pulling by at least a third. People who tracked more often did better.
Decoupling: a small 2011 trial found it reduced pulling more than relaxation training. A larger 2015 trial found both helped by similar amounts.
Therapy with a practitioner: therapy based on Habit Reversal Training, where a trained practitioner works through these steps with you over several sessions, has much larger effects in trials. A 2014 review of 11 trials found large improvements, bigger with more session time. A June 2026 review of around 30 trials again found habit reversal was the core ingredient in the most effective approaches.

In plain terms, self-help can make a real difference, and it builds skills you’ll use anyway. If you’ve tried steadily for a few months and you’re stuck, working with someone who understands trich often helps more. For an overview of every option and the evidence behind each, see our guide to trichotillomania treatment.

What if I pull my eyebrows or eyelashes?

The same steps work, with a few changes. Brow and lash pulling is often focused pulling. It tends to happen at a mirror, while getting ready, or when one side starts to look uneven and you try to “even it up”.

Step away from close-up mirrors during risky times, and swap a magnifying mirror for a normal one.
Keep tweezers somewhere awkward to reach, or ask someone you trust to keep them for you.
Wear glasses or sunglasses at home when you’re most likely to pull at your lashes. They’re a simple barrier.
Notice the urge to even things up. Matching one side to the other is a common pull that leads to more. Name it and walk away.
Fill in your brows if it helps you feel better, with a pencil or powder you like. Some people find it takes away the urge to fiddle with gaps.

If your eyes become red, sore or swollen, see a doctor or pharmacist. There’s more in our guides to pulling out eyebrows and pulling out eyelashes.

How do I put it all together?

Take it a week at a time. Here’s a simple four-week start:

Week 1: track. Log every pull or near miss. Don’t try to change anything yet.
Week 2: block. Pick your top three pulling situations and add a barrier and one change to each place.
Week 3: swap. Choose a competing response and one or two sensory swaps. Keep them where you pull. Practise urge surfing each time an urge comes.
Week 4: review. Look back at your log. What helped? What didn’t? Keep what works, swap out what doesn’t, and pick one feeling-based skill to add.

Expect ups and downs. Setbacks are part of trich, not a sign you’ve failed. If you slip, note what happened, change one thing, and carry on. Our guide to handling a relapse has more on getting back on track. There’s also a longer list of practical tools in the self-help section of our complete guide.

When should I get help?

Get support if pulling is causing you distress, taking up a lot of your time, or affecting your life, work, school or relationships, or if you’ve tried self-help for a few months without much change. You don’t need to wait until it’s “bad enough”.

Many doctors and therapists have never worked with someone who pulls. Everyone in our directory has told us they understand trichotillomania and already help people who pull, in person or online. You can search the directory. Our guide to finding someone who understands trich explains what to ask on a first call.

If you’re a parent reading this for your child, start with The Parent’s Guide to Trichotillomania: understanding what your child is going through.

If you’re feeling very low or hopeless, please talk to someone today.

In an emergency, call 111 or go to your nearest emergency department.

Need to Talk? (free call or text) — 1737 (1737.org.nz)
Lifeline Aotearoa — 0800 543 354
Youthline — 0800 376 633

Questions people ask

How long does it take to stop pulling hair?

It varies a lot. Many people notice fewer pulls within a few weeks of tracking and using barriers. Therapy based on Habit Reversal Training often runs for 8 to 12 weekly sessions. For most people, progress looks like pulling less and less often, with the odd setback, rather than stopping overnight.

Does cutting my hair short help me stop pulling?

It can. Shorter hair is harder to grip, and the UK’s NHS lists it as one thing to try. It works best for scalp pulling and alongside other strategies. It’s your choice, and it isn’t a failure if you’d rather keep your hair long and use barriers instead.

Do fidget toys help with hair pulling?

They help many people, especially with automatic pulling while watching TV, reading or scrolling. They work best when the fidget gives a feeling close to what pulling gives you, such as texture, a tug or something to roll between your fingers.

Is it OK to wear gloves or plasters all the time?

Use them in your risky times and places, not all day. Barriers work by breaking the automatic chain and giving you a moment to notice. Wearing them only when you’re most likely to pull keeps them effective and comfortable.

What should I do after a bad pulling episode?

Be kind to yourself, then get curious. Note what was going on just before, change one small thing for next time, and move on. Shame is one of the strongest triggers for more pulling, so a calm reset helps more than being hard on yourself.

Can medication or supplements help me stop pulling?

Some have been studied. The supplement N-acetylcysteine (NAC) has the most research support, though not every trial has found a benefit, and no medication is licensed specifically for trichotillomania. Talk to a doctor or pharmacist before trying anything, especially if you take other medicines.

Why do I pull more when I’m tired or bored?

When your mind is idle and your hands are free, automatic pulling slips in without you noticing. Tiredness also lowers your ability to catch the first move. Evenings, bedtime and long screen sessions are common risky times, which is why barriers and fidgets help most then.