Pulling Hair at Night: What Helps With Bedtime Pulling

If most of your pulling happens in bed, you’re in very large company. Pulling hair at night is one of the most common patterns in trichotillomania (trich), a condition where people feel a strong urge to pull out their own hair. Lying still in the dark, with your hands free and your mind drifting, makes it easy to start without noticing. Many people only find out in the morning, when they see hair on the pillow.

This guide explains why bedtime is such a strong trigger, what we know about pulling in your sleep, and the barriers and bedtime changes that help. It’s written for adults who pull at night and for parents whose child pulls at bedtime.

Why is bedtime a trigger for hair pulling?

Bedtime brings together almost everything that sets off pulling: stillness, free hands, low light, tiredness and time alone with your thoughts. That’s why trichotillomania at night is so common. When researchers asked adults with trich what made it hard to stop pulling in bed, these were the most common answers:

Most bedtime pulling is automatic pulling. It happens without you noticing, during quiet activities like reading, scrolling or lying in bed. Your hand drifts up and starts searching before you’ve decided anything. There’s more on this in our guide to focused and automatic pulling.

Worry adds fuel: pulling can take the edge off a racing mind. For some people, pulling has also become part of how they fall asleep, like a comfort habit. And being tired may make it harder to catch the first small movement of your hand.

Sleep and pulling may also feed each other. People with trich tend to report poorer sleep than people without it, and long pulling sessions at night can eat into sleep time. Researchers don’t yet know which comes first.

Can you pull your hair in your sleep?

Yes, some people do, though it’s much less common than pulling while falling asleep. In the same survey, about 1 in 8 adults with trich said they had pulled after falling asleep at least once in the past month. Only one of them pulled only while asleep. For almost everyone, pulling in sleep went alongside pulling while awake.

People knew they had pulled in their sleep because they:

• found hair in their bed when they woke up (about half)
• woke up partway through pulling (about half)
• woke up with a sore scalp or other sore pulling area
• were told by a partner or someone else

The line between asleep and awake isn’t always clear. In one adult studied overnight in a sleep lab, recordings showed they were briefly awake each time they pulled, even though they looked asleep. Two other reports, of an adult and of a child, recorded pulling during sleep itself.

Waking up mid-pull doesn’t mean something is badly wrong. It means night-time is one of your risky times and worth putting barriers in place. If you think you pull only in your sleep, see a doctor.

What barriers help with pulling hair at night?

The best night-time barriers make pulling harder without keeping you awake. When your fingers meet fabric instead of hair, you notice, and that moment of noticing gives you a choice. If you pull after falling asleep, a barrier protects your hair even when you can’t catch it yourself.

Options people use:

• Thin gloves or soft mittens. Choose breathable ones that aren’t tight. Thin cotton gloves are easy to sleep in.
• Plasters on your pulling fingertips. The NHS, the UK’s health service, lists this among tips from people with trich. Plasters make it hard to grip a single hair.
• A soft beanie, sleep cap or headscarf. A snug, comfortable cover puts a layer between your fingers and your hair. Many people find a satin-lined sleep cap comfortable to sleep in.
• Long sleeves. The researchers behind the survey suggest long sleeves, gloves and a hat for people who pull during sleep.
• Hair tied back loosely, in a soft braid or under a cap, so loose strands are harder to find.
• Something to hold. Keep a quiet, soft fidget in bed with you, such as a smooth stone or a square of soft fabric.
• Your phone out of reach, if you pull while scrolling in bed. Charge it across the room or outside the bedroom.

You don’t need all of these. One barrier for your hands and one for your head is a good start; swap anything that irritates your skin or keeps you awake. Our guide to fidget toys and tools can help you choose ones that work in bed.

How can I change my bedtime routine to pull less?

Cut down the time you spend lying awake, and give your hands and mind something else to do while you wind down. The researchers behind the survey suggest a calming bedtime routine and going to bed only when you’re ready to sleep. The NHS gives the same advice to anyone who struggles to sleep.

1. Go to bed when you’re sleepy, not before. Less time awake in bed means less time to pull.
2. Wind down away from your bed. The NHS suggests relaxing for at least an hour before bed, for example with a bath or a book.
3. Put screens away before bed. Scrolling in bed is a common pulling time, and the NHS advises against using devices right before sleep because they make you more alert.
4. Put your barriers on before you get into bed, as part of the routine, rather than once an urge starts.
5. Park your worries. If you pull while worrying, write down what’s on your mind, and one next step, before you turn the light off.
6. Give your hands a job. Hold your fidget, or rest your hands on your chest with your fingers loosely linked. This is a competing response: something your hands do that makes pulling impossible.
7. If an urge builds and you can’t settle, get up. Go to another room, do something calm with your hands, and come back to bed when you feel sleepy.

Competing responses come from Habit Reversal Training (HRT), a talking therapy that teaches you to notice when you’re about to pull and do something else with your hands instead. You can read more in our guide to Habit Reversal Training.

If you do pull, stop when you notice, put the hair down, and go back to your competing response. Try not to get up and check the area in a mirror, because checking often leads to more pulling. Our guide on how to stop pulling your hair has more on handling urges.

What if my child pulls their hair at bedtime?

Stay calm: bedtime pulling in young children is common and is usually a way of soothing themselves. Babies and toddlers often pull or twirl their hair while falling asleep, often alongside thumb-sucking, and this often stops on its own. Pulling during sleep has also been reported in young children, and in those cases the child pulled at other times of day too.

Things that help:

• a soft comfort toy or a silky piece of fabric for their hands at bedtime
• thin cotton mittens or gloves, if your child is happy to wear them
• a calm, predictable wind-down

Never tell your child off for pulling, and don’t let gloves feel like a punishment. With older children and teenagers, ask which barriers they’d like to try, let them choose, and don’t check their hair in the morning.

Our guide to toddler hair pulling covers the youngest children in more detail. For older children, start with The Parent’s Guide to Trichotillomania: understanding what your child is going through.

When should I get help for night-time pulling?

Get support if pulling at night is costing you sleep, causing hair loss or distress, or hasn’t eased after a few weeks of barriers and routine changes. You don’t need to wait until it’s “bad enough”. Someone who understands hair pulling can help you work out what drives your night-time pulling and build a plan around it.

Also see a doctor if:

• you think you pull only while you’re asleep
• you have signs of another sleep problem, such as loud snoring, pauses in your breathing or sleepwalking
• poor sleep is making it hard to cope during the day

A doctor can check for a sleep problem and, if needed, refer you to a sleep clinic. There, a sleep study can record what your body does overnight.

Many doctors and therapists have never worked with someone who pulls. Everyone in our directory has told us they understand trichotillomania and already help people who pull, in person or online. You can search the directory. Our guide to finding someone who understands trich explains what to ask on a first call.

If you’re feeling very low or hopeless, please talk to someone today.

In an emergency, call 111 or go to your nearest emergency department.

• Need to Talk? (free call or text) — 1737 (1737.org.nz)
• Lifeline Aotearoa — 0800 543 354
• Youthline — 0800 376 633

Questions people ask

Sources

1. Ricketts, E.J., Snorrason, I., Rozenman, M., Colwell, C.S., McCracken, J.T. & Piacentini, J. (2017). Sleep functioning in adults with trichotillomania (hair-pulling disorder), excoriation (skin-picking) disorder, and a non-affected comparison sample. Journal of Obsessive-Compulsive and Related Disorders, 13, 49–57.
2. NHS. Trichotillomania (hair pulling disorder).
3. NHS. Insomnia.